This morning was sunny and it was another show-down with team Sheindlin-Radley. My kid's had off from school for Easter Monday, so I got up early (court was at 9am) got ready, drove over to my mom's and dropped off the little ones. Then I stopped off at Starbucks and got a coffee, drove home to get James and spilled coffee all over myself in the driveway. Classic. I considered just leaving on the coffee outfit. Since I'm pregnant I thought everyone would over-look it, but I knew I was facing a lot of hair & makeup prep-work from Judy Sheindlin and I figured the least I could do was show up in clean clothing.
So, I went and changed and James took over his father's job and made sure I had meter change. We parked, fed the meter and walked to the courthouse. There was murder trial going on so there were lots of police and photographers and we felt very glamorous walking through it all.
We were about 15 min early, and my attorney never showed. I probably should have called or emailed to make sure he remembered, but to be honest I think I didn't on purpose. The last few times when the attorneys went in alone, I didn't like it because Boo's attorney is also his wife so I felt like they got to be everywhere while I sat outside. This time, since I had no attorney, I was there for everything. The "adults" went in first. Judy really annoys me, and at the risk of sounding like the scorned, angry woman that I sometimes am, she really is a snotty-bitch. And that would probably be fine if she was a hired cut-throat family attorney, but she's not. She's his wife, so it all comes across wrong. It's all "stand-by-your-man", fighting the old baby-momma who's kept her husband away from being a loving, involved father. It stinks of female desperation to make her "man" good, or grasp at straws to believe that he's good. All while I sit there annoyed, pregnant, and desperate for the bathroom.
James had written another letter to court, correcting a statement that his counselor had made in his "evaluation". He also adamantly reiterated his position that he did not want visitation and would not comply with it if it was granted. The master had lots of questions for Boo, and then would turn to me and ask how I felt about it. At one point he asked, "How did you find the counselor?", which in the context of what he had already been discussing meant, "How did you like the counselor?" or "How did you find the counselor to be?" Boo started to answer by explaining the logistics of an internet search. Judy stopped him to explain what the Master meant by "find". Boo still didn't get it and started talking about locating a counselor. Judy has a very pretty, well preformed smile when she's embarrassed by her husband and I saw it often there, because this went on at least three times before Boo got it.
Team Sheindlin-Radley was still was adamant that they want visitation. They said their plan was to have James on the first and third Sundays of every month. The Master was like, "Well, what are you going to do when he sits down in the front yard and refuses to go?" They didn't have a good answer. The Master turned to me and asked me what I thought of it. I told him that I thought it was a lot of weight on James's shoulders to have Boo come twice a month and try to force him to go with him. Judy piped up that two Sundays a month should not be stressful for him, and he is just a child after all. Ahhhhhhh, Judy, you should just shut that lip-glossed mouth of yours right now. I have 3, soon to be 4 kids, and you have none. Don't you tell me what's stressful for my child, let alone ANY child. If you want to tell me about your BMW maintenance schedule or how to flat-iron your hair, I'm all ears. But don't you tell me what's up (we all know I feel about that!) with my teenager. I was pregnant at 17, I have a new in-law mad at me on every alternating Thursday, and I am about to birth my fourth son... I eat pretty little fashionistas like you for breakfast.
So, then the Master wanted to know if we would like him to speak to James. He said there are two options for this, one is with the attorneys present and the other is with the child alone. I said that he should to talk to James alone because my attorney is not present and the other attorney is technically James's step-mother and that's weird (any time I can bring that up, I do, because team Sheindlin-Radley looks uncomfortable). The Master talked to James alone for a while then he brought the "adults" in and sent James back out. He told me that he has been doing mediation for 28 years, and that James is one of the most intelligent and mature children he has ever spoken with. After that "how did you find the counselor" situation, I think we all know where James gets his smarts from.
So, the Master wrote up a final order and I think we kind of won. Later on, in the car, James told me that the Master told him in private that he did not want to give Boo any visitation but did not want this to have to continue in the court system. So, he and James worked on a solution. The solution, and final order, is that James will attend up to two counseling sessions a month. No visitation or partial custody was awarded, and I retain full custody. It feels kind of good. I don't like James to be forced to do anything, but I'd rather it be counseling than visitations with Boo.
So, it ends for now... until I annoy Judy with something and she wrangles up her husband, puts on her heels, and comes for blood again.
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