The Lively Child

It starts out with a text exchange something like this...

Single Male Relative:  Does Warren snore?
Me: Not really. 
Me: What's up about Warren's sleep?
Single Male Relative: Something on the news.  Then no apnea or snoring? Not a mouth breather, either?
Me: Nose breather, I think.  He goes to bed, falls asleep in 5 minutes and is in a coma untill the magical hour of 7 am.


Then I do a little research on this cryptic exchange and find out that a study was done linking children who regularly snore with behavioral and emotional problems.  Really? REALLY? My child is "lively"! Just ask his pre-school teacher!  She told me so! Sigh. 

Life is tough for the parent of a "lively" child.  People are always trying to figure out whats up with your kid.  Why IS he that way?  Does he snore? Does he eat too many products with corn-syrup? Are you disciplining him regularly... and are sticking to what you say?  How were you when you were little?  (I was shy)  How was your husband?  (perfectly well behaved... just ask him and his mom) Do you baby him? Do you beat him? NO, NO, NO! He's just LIVELY!

Don't get me wrong, I had my doubts.  Coming off of a calm, passive first child, Warren took me by storm.  It was a lot to get used to.  From the quiet child who stood dutifully with me in the store... to Warren who runs the 100 yard dash up and down aisles, refuses to leave the lobster tank like someone who chained themself to a tree, and will moan and complain about not getting fruit snacks like an Israelite in the desert for 40 years.  Speaking of which, he went to Bible camp and told me that Moses was WAY awesomer than Jesus.  I mean, come on mom, Moses was like a SUPER HERO! (poor pacifist Jesus didn't leave much of an impression with all that blah blah blah about loving and what-not) But don't worry, he did pay some attention during the boring New Testament stuff, because the next thing I know, he's pretending to nail a kid to the cross at his older brother's swim meet.  And this kid doesn't care about punishments, threats, ultimateums.  Literally, he just does not care.  Whatever it is, he can do without it or go on to something else... it just doesn't matter to him.  So, at one point, I checked with a professional I know.  He's fine... just "lively". 

There is a mysterious exception to this lack of decent behavior and it's preschool.  It's the reason I just go with the flow out here in the real world.  I'll stand in the checkout line and be patient with him when he's trying to sit in the bagging station because the second he steps into preschool he is the perfect citizen.  He's good at sharing,  will play with anyone, and is a kind leader in the classrom.  The teacher told me that school would always be "easy" for Warren. He knows every answer to the point that she has to tell him, "Warren, let other kid's have a turn!"  One exhausting day (I can't remember which, there are so many of them)  I said to his teacher, "But, Mrs. M., he's so... so...."  "Lively", she finishes for me and gives me a knowing smile.  A weight is lifted from shoulders and angels sing. 


So, I no longer worry if his body composition is made up of fun-dip and hawaiian punch or if people wonder if he was raised by wolves.  It's all good, I accept it - My kid is wild... but when you stop and look at things from his little boy eyes there is a lot to be wild about. He has a spirit for everything and everything is exciting... everything is a game to be played, a competition to have, something to get...to get to.  There is just too much to do, to see, to be involved in. He doesn't want to be slowed down by parental authority. There is no time for that in his world. You can keep your rules and restrictions.... ultimatums and silly star charts. If he wants to spend an extra 15 minutes at the lobster tank he's going to do it god damn it! YOU can toe tap all you you want. YOU will just have to wait.  I mean, what on earth could be cooler than a tank of live lobsters, mom? Don't you get it? Don't you see?

Of course there is a time for discipline, health food, and worrisome studies... but if you have a "lively" child sometimes you just have to say, "No, he dosen't snore, he's just awesome!"